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Fighting to the death or suffering in silence snuffs kills sexual desire for most wives. If insufficient sex is the result of unsatisfactory marriages and affairs the result of unhappy marriages, what are the causes? It isn’t only that they desire emotional engagement. It isn’t only that they desire safety and protection along with autonomy and independence. Her husband Todd’s business partner, Brad Hanson was the lucky guy.

I have found that wives want mutuality, equal power relationships, and recognition from their husbands. When Todd found out about the affair he dissolved the partnership.

I agee with the author and in my view there is nothing wrong with women making relationship decisions about sex.

Double standard – forgiving men but excoriating women.

Knowing what they should know by that time, how can they possibly give such poor advice?

Steve There was an article about 20 years ago Cosmo magazine, I believe, about the tendency for women to be involved with one of two types of men: 1.

Ultimately, the extra-marital affair decision is about self-respect.

I could not pull that trigger until I filed – notwithstanding inclination and opportunity – and I am a progressive.Alas, her secret lover did not fare so well after all. A desperate plea for help and a daring catalyst for change in their marriage or their own selves, the affair is serious stuff. Let’s take a peek at a few of the wives that I write about in the book, Not that she doesn’t have a handsome, successful husband. Not that she doesn’t have a beautiful home with two acres of land. Mary desires committed love in marriage, security, children and comfort, all that good stuff. Sociopolitical history, pop culture, dampened down brain chemicals, and family history entwine and strangle her strivings.On the heels of so many scandals, is the shoe of yet another secret lover to drop? Estimates of infidelity range from 30-60 percent of women compared to 50-70 percent of men. Unshackling from her corseted past, Mary breathes freely. To her surprise, she sees clearly that her husband is not doing it for her. She finds a sensitive, sexy secret lover who promises all.But, politics aside – after conversations with marriage counselors and a marital sex therapist – if you need sizzle and you get steak an no sizzle – it just is not a meal.And, polite mouthings about wedding vows and societal pressure don’t change that. And, it seems to me, that a "litmus test" of "reliablity" was not so "desirable" during Clintin/Lewinsky.Is infidelity more outrageous for a ‘family values’ political female figure than for an adulterous male politician? As you can see from the above vignettes, women have secret lovers, primarily.