You spend the entire semester with this man and by the time you are supposed to return to the U.
S., you had both fallen passionately in love with one another.
Ok, so I know you NT wives wish there was some easy method of getting your husband to think the way you do.
No matter how hard you try to get your feelings across to him, unless you verbalize them in a clear, non-threatening and non-accusatory way, he isn’t going to be able to ever give you the emotional empathy you need to feel better and move forward in a happy marriage.
Most professionals out there will dismiss my claim that those with Aspergers are entirely absent of cognitive empathy.
Now imagine that you and this man cannot stand the thought of being apart and you make a bold move to take your love to a new level and get married so you can stay in France with him.
You know that this is risky, but you also know in your heart that you cannot walk away from this gut-feeling that you have to take this risk!
It is easy to say “No way, it isn’t that simple” when you are not actually living with this dynamic.
These professionals can counsel, provide therapy for, or study hundreds of thousands of people with Aspergers, but until they are intimately involved and see what we NT wives do…
Again though, most professionals are studying those with Asperger’s syndrome and their interpersonal relationships from outside the box.
If they don’t know what it is we NT wives saw in our husbands that made us fall for them in the first place, it is easy to dismiss that we DID see emotional empathy in the beginning.
I disagree with this and I will bet that a large part of your pain came from questioning those early days and wondering how you could have been duped into seeing something that did not exist.
You were not duped, you just behaved a little different back then as well, and your husband had not yet build up a defensive fortress to keep you out.
Neuroscience and genetics are still lacking in the study of empathy and those who have made it their life’s work to study empathy (Simon Baron-Cohen being one of the few) tend to lean more toward the idea that cognitive empathy IS entirely absent for aspies.