A simple way to look at it is to truly and honestly ask ourselves if we believe we are acting like an adult or like a child in our relationships.I’ve dated my fair share of men who were actually boys trapped emotionally in their younger years.
We need to be open and accepting of each other’s unique paths and work hard to offer unconditional love.
This way we can still choose one another to love, but love each other without feeling the need to demand that things stay the same, or that one (or both) compromises themselves to keep the other happy.
I also used to think that love had to be a little messy to keep it exciting.
I believed that without drama relationships were calm but boring, and that it was okay to be a little volatile at times.
After all, the making up afterwards was the best part of all.
Although I hate admitting it, it’s all too often the truth—a mutual love of drama is what can hold childish relationships together. There will be no looking to the past wishing the meeting had taken place years before and no looking to the future wondering where the destination is. We can never expect the same person we start out with to be the same person at the end of the relationship.We wrongly believe it must be everyone else’s fault the relationships we’ve been in haven’t worked out. We have to become the type of person we want to be to be able to attract the same qualities in another.What we fail to see is that just because we grown-up love, it doesn’t mean that we ourselves are ready for it. Or at the very least to be able to keep it once we have attracted it.Change is scary, but we must let go of our need to remain the same just so we can cling to what feels safe or comfortable.When we are capable of adjusting to change we become fluid.I realized that I only needed myself to be able to live fully.