I asked questions I hadn't let myself ask before: It wasn't until I wrote the last sentence of the first draft of my first novel, something I'd wanted to do for years, that I looked around and realized what I had done: I'd been alone for over two years and I was more than okay with it.But in fact, I wasn't alone: I was essentially dating myself and we were about each other.
It didn't happen all at once but like any good relationship, slowly but surely, we got to know each other better.
For once, I let myself think really hard about what I wanted and where I wanted to see myself.
I went to movies by myself, went on walks, read books, watched my favorite TV shows.
I made myself laugh more and stopped doing things I didn’t want to do. I stopped being so hard on myself about making new friends.
Eventually, someone else can join this snuggly little relationship.
Until then, I want to enjoy the feeling of being alone.
Dating yourself can help you identify with yourself, which is a very powerful concept. However, when you take these integral steps of loving yourself, nurturing yourself and getting identifying with yourself, you soon begin to realize that embracing every quirky, painful and beautiful quality about yourself is a fast-track to inner contentment and self-love. There are Groupons and reasonably priced places out there. Your calling is the gift you happen to possess that ignites a spark in your heart – it causes a flare-up of joy and passion within you.
The more you love yourself, and the happier you are being alone, the less you rely on others to make you happy. If you’re on various social media platforms constantly looking for validation, a new date, or spending your time scrolling through other people’s lives because you’re bored – stop. Treat yourself to a massage, a pedicure, or whatever your heart desires.
I had such intense fear of being alone that my stomach churned anytime one of my friends got a new boyfriend. There, I had more infatuations, more fixations, and more relationships where I constantly tried to make myself into the person I thought I couldn't understand why I felt so alone yet still be surrounded by so many people.
What I never realized was there is a difference between wanting to spend time with people and never being alone with your own thoughts. The people I was dating constantly misunderstood me or projected certain ideas onto me that were so far from who I felt like I really was.
If you, like many of us, find your identity in external things, people, accolades or in your career, dating yourself can actually be very liberating. Whether it be following a new health regime, walking your favorite trail or treating yourself to a new hair-cut. The more present you are, the more able you are to accept yourself and your surroundings. Going against society’s ‘norm’ and dating yourself is one of the healthiest things you will ever do.