"The amount of times that people are approached when they have photos is multitudes more than when they don't," says Gian Gonzaga, Ph D, e Harmony's senior director of research and development and head of e Harmony Labs. Leave behind group shots, which can make it confusing for other people to identify you, advises Spira, and choose a headshot in which you are smiling."Your primary photo should be all about you." She recommends posting between three to five photos only—any more and "it's as if you're already smothering your future partner." Also, be sure to include a shot where you can see your body.
By the time your date comes around, she’ll already have lost interest or have found someone more attentive.
If you really are going away, wait until you get back to ask her out.
My buddy thinks you’re real and now we have a bet going. ” — Kristin, 26 The problem..the solution: Aside from the fact that this is a pathetic pickup line, it’s certainly never going to work. [pagebreak] DUMPED AND IN DENIALThe scenario: “I went on a few dates with a guy I met online, and I eventually decided we weren’t compatible, so I was honest with him.
A lot of women are looking for something serious and have no interest in participating in your immature wager with friends. He refused to accept it and continued to message me listing all the reasons why we’d be great together.” — Ashley, 30 The problem..the solution: No matter how strongly you feel about your potential with a woman you meet online, accept the break-up gracefully.
There’s obviously a reason she didn’t think it would work out, so why keep trying to pursue someone who is clearly not interested in you?
Instead, channel your energy into meeting someone else. A general rule: once you’ve sent four messages back and forth, someone should ask someone out — preferably the man. [pagebreak] PRESSURE COOKERThe scenario: “I was really into someone I went on a few dates with, until he told me he was taking down his online dating profile and he wanted me to do the same.” — Jess, 34 The problem..the solution: Nothing will scare a girl faster than putting that kind of pressure on her too early into the relationship.
A lot of you are self-conscious about the fact that you’re on a dating site.
But obviously if she’s on the site too, you’re both in the same boat.
"I equate online dating to looking for a job," says Julie Spira, cyber-dating expert and author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating.
"You'd want a rock star résumé for your perfect dream job, and you should feel the same way about your online dating profile." And the profile is just where it starts—we have plenty of expert tips, from sending the perfect first e-mail to picking your first date location.
A good rule of thumb: if you aren’t available for a date within 7 days of sending the message, don’t send it.